I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
