420 ftw
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
