I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
