I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
