i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
