You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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