yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
