i don't like sucking hair
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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