It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
