Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
