I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
