I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
