i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
