i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
