He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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