and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
