I love black thongs
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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