oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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