next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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