I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
