Sponge bath it is.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize