I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There's always time for handjobs
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
