my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't deserve a penis
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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