at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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