If that was your dad, he is hot
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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