i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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