do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
