pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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