Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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