apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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