Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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