i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
