i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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