Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
