they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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