hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i drank out of a bidet.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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