I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My dick has a subreddit
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
