And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
