So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
