Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just cut my nipple shaving
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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