i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
