Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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