I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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