i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
