She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
do herpes really smell.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
