The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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