yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
