we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
