My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
