I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
