I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
