Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
