We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
