He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
