He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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