I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
