Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize