just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i now understand why vodka
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm like, not good at living.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
