If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
