was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
