$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
