Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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