smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
