If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
