Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
