Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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