if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
