if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
