I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
