Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
