ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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