if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
