I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
