I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize