first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
