You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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