Me too!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
