Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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