it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize